Get the Ants Out of Her Pants - Quickly

PROLOGUE

In the late 1960's, while flying for Pan Am, we flew soldiers from Vietnam to exotic places for R & R. That means Rest & Relaxation, but was affectionately called Rape and Rampage. We took them to Hong Kong, Bangkok, Manila, and Sidney.

FLIGHTS OUT AND RETURN

On the flights out, the GI's were wide awake; not sleeping the entire trip. When we picked them up for the return trip to Vietnam, they were exhausted, and slept all the way to Vietnam.

They had a well deserved

break from the war to enjoy themselves, and we were proud to be a part of helping them enjoy a vacation. Many of them never returned home.

DARWIN

The flight to Sidney exceeded the maximum duty day for pilots so we had to change crews and layover at Darwin, on the northern tip of Australia. We learned of a swimming hole with a vine swing in a creek

30 minutes from our hotel. Being adventurous types we rented several Mini Mokes (small jeep looking cars) and drove to the creek for swimming and picnicking. It was fun swinging off the hill on the vine and dropping into the water. We felt like teenagers again.

THE BRA

When one of the flight attendants (I'll call her Lucky") swung on the vine the first time, her bra broke before getting to the drop

point. Being gentlemen that all pilots are, we all volunteered to swim out to help her fix it. But she managed to take care of the problem herself.

ANTS

On the way to the main road from the creek there were huge ant mounds that housed huge,, vicious ants. Lucky decided to have her picture taken near the mounds, so she gave her camera to someone and ran over to pose. The ants didn't like this intrusion and all of a sudden Lucky began screaming and slapping her legs because the ants had climbed up her jeans and were biting.

She was in real pain.

One brave Pan Am pilot grabbed her under the arms, and another picked her up by the feet, risking getting ants on themselves, and carried her from the mound. Then we took her pants off so she could get all the ants off her body.

SWIM SUITS

Because there was no place to change clothes at the swimming hole, we wore our swim suits under our clothes. We swam first, then had our picnic, during which time our suit would dry. Then we put our clothes on top of the swim suits.

So Lucky wasn't naked when we took her pants off - she still had her bathing suit on, and fortunately the ants hadn't gotten under the swim suit.

WARNING If You See a Huge Ant Mound

**** DO NOT GO NEAR IT ****

If you do, be sure someone is around who is willing to risk getting ants in their pants in order to get the ants out of your pants.